Forget the Baby Shower - Here’s Why You Need a Mother Blessing Instead

At Oat Mama, we believe that pregnancy, birth, and motherhood are sacred seasons that deserve to be honored with intention and care. We’ve invited Kirstin Ford to the blog to share her wisdom on how to create a Mother Blessing Ceremony, a soulful and nourishing alternative to the traditional baby shower.

Kirstin is a ceremonial guide who brings together science, spirituality, and ancestral practices to support women through life’s most transformational moments. With professional training, a deep connection to nature, and a gift for holding safe, meaningful space, she helps women return to themselves and recognize their own divine potential. Her work is rooted in the belief that true healing begins when we stop avoiding the darker parts of ourselves and begin meeting them with compassion.

In this post, Kirstin offers a thoughtful, guide to creating a Mother Blessing Ceremony centered in ritual, community, and reverence for the journey into motherhood.

What is a Mother Blessing Ceremony?

A Mother Blessing Ceremony is an intimate gathering that honors a pregnant mama as she prepares for birth. Birth is one of a few Rites of Passage we experience as humans and is, arguably, the most profound because it alters you on every level of your existence - neurologically, hormonally, spiritually. Once catalyzed, this transformation unfurls like an endless spiral bringing us around and around again to these exquisite moments of immense change. In Motherhood, you will meet yourself at a threshold in more ways than you count and more times than you can remember. And if you ask a mother, the catalyzing moment for most of us is giving birth. 

"How do begin to make sense of our new selves in the isolation we’ve so carefully curated for the sake of a highlight reel?"

Rites of Passage are bridges that carry you from who you were before to who you are becoming. They necessarily strip you of the mental constructs you built to keep you safe that now hinder you from evolving. How do we cross these thresholds with conviction, bravery, grace? What images do we lean on to help us navigate the mysteries of birth and motherhood? Where are our grandmothers, mothers, sisters who impart wisdom and offer us safety as we make our descent? And as we emerge from the birth spiral with our identities shattered, how are we received and witnessed in our communities? How do begin to make sense of our new selves in the isolation we’ve so carefully curated for the sake of a highlight reel?

For as long we've been around, we have gathered in reverence for mothers and babies. Yet, somewhere along the way, the focus shifted. The significance of birth became a compulsory dash for the latest gadget to keep baby safe and a surreptitious outsourcing of a mother's true power. 

You've felt it, though. The wave of change that has swept into the heart's of mothers. More and more, mamas are returning to the proverbial well of maternal wisdom. We are choosing something different, something radical. We are choosing ourselves. Ourselves over being palatable. Ourselves over being obedient. Ourselves over being silent. And we are gathering. The village mentality is resurging. Showing up for your sisters feels like a dance very similar to the way trees support each other deep within their root systems - offering support, medicine and food during challenging times by way of the mycelium network. In her village, a mother-to-be is loved and supported. She is seen and held safe. 

Imagine...for months, you've carried this sweet new life safely inside your womb and giving birth has felt so far away. There is a moment for every expectant mother when the immense reality and mysterious nature of birth comes whispering and then roaring. Your bones ache in a deeper way and turning over in bed has become a team sport. Your brain has wrapped you in a quiet fog to buffer you from the harshness of the world. And you are deep in the season of duality as part of you longs to meet your baby and the other part wonders if you’re going to break.

"She is neither her former self or her future self and she needs her people more than ever."

This chrysalis mama finds herself in a world between worlds. She is neither her former self or her future self and she needs her people more than ever. She needs them to hold her as begins to unravel and surrender to the mystery of birth and motherhood. She needs to grieve, reminisce and laugh in the safety of your arms. She needs to feel sacred and beautiful in her ever-changing body that came so quickly. She needs a protected space to process her fears and give way to the power of her body as birth becomes imminent.

This is why you deserve a Mother Blessing Ceremony.

When I prepare for a client’s Mother Blessing Ceremony, there are a few key steps that guide me. I call them the bones of each ceremony and I offer them to you now. Whether you are creating a sacred space for yourself or your sister, let your intuition guide you.

Getting Started:

What kind of medicine are you calling in? Some mamas need to release personal fears. Some mamas need to feel cherished and beautiful. And some mamas want to be in community and honor the collective motherhood journey. Maybe it’s a combination of all three. Once you decide what resonates most, then you can begin building the bones.

The Bones:

If your focus is on releasing fears, grieving loss or processing anger, you might select rituals that offer an alchemical process. Fire rituals are transformative and purifying while water rituals are cleansing and renewing. Lighting a fire and offering rose petals as you grieve a ghost of yourself or writing a powerful word on paper that you burn as an offering can be powerful symbols of shifting internal landscapes. If your focus is on feeling cherished, beautiful and sacred, you might choose rituals that evoke a feeling of calm and joy for the senses. A floral foot bath, braiding her hair or a salt scrub for the soles of the feet are powerful reminders that mothers are meant to be revered. If your vision is to honor the feminine collective, you could include a sound bath with a guided womb meditation that invokes the power of the feminine as the zero point for all creation.

The Traditional Rite of Passage Structure:

All traditional Rite of Passage Ceremonies follow a similar sequence. A preparation, an initiation and an integration. In my ceremonies, the Preparation gives a feeling of opening and setting intentions. A prayer invocation, a candle lighting and a clearing of the space using smoke, water, sound or anything that resonates for you. Preparation is physical, emotional and spiritual. This would conclude with any rituals for mama that also feel like a preparation for her...washing her feet, combing her hair, adorning her with flowers. In the Initiation phase, this represents the power of the actual initiation mama will eventually experience through birth. Rituals like lighting a fire and talking about her fears or hearing a guided meditation while bathing in the sound of quartz bowls, chimes and healing instruments are powerful tools for processing and integrating. This part of the ceremony is cathartic and should leave mama and her guests feeling as if they’ve gone through something and are on the other side. The Integration is our closing. Mama is witnessed and held as she integrates all that has come before in the ceremony. Witnessing is a profound part of this whole process. We must be fully seen in our valleys in order to walk freely over our peaks. I often use the Red Thread Ritual as a physical symbol of our unity as women, mothers and sisters. You could also close while holding hands and offering prayers to mama, baby and each guest in the circle. Bringing It Together:

Once you have your rituals and understand the placement of them in your 3 part ceremony, next you’ll plan out your logistics. Who, when and where, of course, but also give thought to the setting you’ll create. Will you open with a prayer? Do you want to cater food? How will mama be most comfortable? These gatherings are most enjoyable when done in community. Many hands make light work. So call on your sisters and share the love and load. Keep mama looped in as much as is needed knowing that the ultimate goal is for this to be her medicine without making it her burden.

A final thought

I always find a way for each guest to receive and participate. The main focus is mama, but if you can find a way for her most cherished people to receive a wave of energetic healing alongside her, that is priceless. 

And if you’re looking for a ceremonial guide, let’s talk. I help mamas and her village plan these gatherings months in advance and take care of all the day of logistics. I come early to set up, facilitate the event flawlessly and pack everything up at the end while you all cherish the memory without having to manage all the details. This is my heart’s work. I’m honored to be here.Thank you for you to Kirstin Ford for you insight and wisdom around how to deeply nurture new mothers. She shares more about her offerings and how to weave more ritual and ceremony into your life on her instagram, Altared Mama.